Here come the fuckerbells,
the wingtarts, the zagnuts
Here come the fartlickers
and tithonkers. The goose suckers,
the pussy slappers.
Please, greet them with a mild smile
and albatross arms.
Massage their cobalt taints, tarantula their scalps,
Squeeze oily tinctures and soothing ointments
across their bedbug freckles.
Polish their waxy foreheads,
squeeze their ruby blemishes
until they gleam.
If they hand you a book, and they will,
do not attempt to open it.
If they pass a greasy sack, don't peek inside,
no matter how enticing the smell.
In their minds, they are already busy munching
on what's left of your dignity.
For now, just smile
and gingerly shake their paw
when they extend it
and look forward to the day
when you can pick their hairy rat tails
from between your teeth.